Why I'm breaking w/ family tradition to vote fore Hillary

Ok, I'm gonna ramble now cuz.... just cuz.... mkhay?

The best thing to come out of broad publicity of the latest couple tragedies in and around St. Louis and Ohio and Utah has been an elevated dialog on the so far misnamed topic of racism. Oh, don't get it fucked up! This shit has been going on all along. The only news here is that people are getting fed up with this bullshit enough to put themselves at great personal risk by becoming journalists. If my language offends you, please excuse me on the basis that this is not only provisionally appropriate language to discuss the topic, it's also just exactly the topic for which strong language exists.

But it's not really racism.

rac·ism
ˈrāˌsizəm/Submit
noun
the belief that all members of each race possess characteristics or abilities specific to that race, especially so as to distinguish it as inferior or superior to another race or races.
prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one's own race is superior. -- Google Racism

True racism would be misconceptions about dogs or horses or spiders. Spiders take the worst of it though, don't they?

All humans are the same race; we're human, ok? Please? I think it's helpful to think in terms of ethnicism instead of racism cause we all pretty much know by now that we're all of mixed ethnicity. We have more in common than not.

Regardless of the popular language, I've come across a LOT of conversation on the topic, and some of it is pretty damned good! Not all of it, of course. A lot of it, probably the vast majority, is banal and mean spirited and shallow, like everything else that passes for conversation these days. But some of it has been better than I'm used to--more thoughtful, more reasoned, more nuanced ... And it's SO refreshing!

But until just recently, I was looking forward to a Hillary presidency. The reason why has little to do with left/right politics and everything to do with this. I'm dog TIRED of pretending that everything is about racism[sic] and more than ready to start pretending that everything is about misogeny. Damn! It's a real thing and my spellchecker hasn't even got the word in its dictionary. It's a neglected topic.

I like men. Almost always, I'll hang with the guys if I have a choice. Maybe just cause my dad was cool as hell and my mom was really very not. So I'll just skip over a listing of daily and more indignities people without a dick suffer and cut right to the chase.

Here are some relationship tips:

Guys, if you stick your dick into something that even you don't respect, you degrade yourself. If you've done that and you've managed to connect with a good woman who's willing to overlook it? Get down on your damned knees and thank her endlessly! And don't even THINK about trying to shame her for whatever she may have done before you met her. You've met her kids, maybe even shook hands with an ex boyfriend. You knew she wasn't a virgin and she probably suspected that you were not either.

Whatever insulting thing you may want to say about women in general, remember that your mother was a woman and so is your little sister and so is your daughter. And we can hear you. We're not deaf, mother fuckers! If you can't remember that, I'll remind you. Ask my coworkers LOL!

Sometimes, when I'm walking or riding my bike down the street, I really do appreciate a cat call or a whistle. Really! Chicks dig that shit as much as ya'll do! But some days I'm just not in the mood for attention from strangers. Just pay attention to how a girl is acting--is she inviting playful flirtation or is she in a serious mood. Maybe she's on her way to a funeral or something. Ya know, just like when you go into work and gauge your boss' mood before you decide whether to be playful or serious? Ya know, show us a little respect, compassion, empathy... just pretend we're men with titts and pussies and alluringly gentle voices. And if you seriously hope I'm worthy enough to share some intense and extended intimacy maybe one day, remember that I am as worthy of respect and consideration as your little sister or your mother, ok?

I would compliment you guys a whole lot more often if you would play by the same rules you call on us and NOT take a playful compliment as a contract obliging me to jump in bed with you.

Clearly, I'm not talking about an exclusive, romantic relationship. I'm trying to make peace on the street. That's just about all I'm about. B'lieve it!

We got more in common than not.

B'lieve it! Or we shall all hang separately.

The real definition of mind f***k and why it matters to you

So I got to thinking about this story today as I was walking around Charleroi. I'll tell you why cause I think opening the dialog is more important right now than protecting my personal boundaries.

I'm having a zipetty-do-dah day today. Fellow program vets will understand what that means. It's a beautiful day here! Sun shining, cool breeze, birds a singing... but I've been reminded of a horrendous event from inside the building with major repercussions into the here and now. I don't want to trigger anybody else, so quit reading now if you're not up for processing some of the dark details.

It has to do with the public perceptions that kept us all imprisoned by sadistic lunatics back then and which continue to oppress so many today. I promise, at the end, there's some optimism. A truly encouraging development, that spoon-full of sugar. At least people are starting to notice and put it into entertaining and understandable terms. That's good. Baby steps.

These are two broadly held public perceptions that led to the horrible events of yesteryear and continue to wreak havoc on communities to this day.

1. Drugs are the root of all evil, especially where teenagers are concerned. ALL evil.
2. The Program® is the only answer to the only cause of any kind of problem.

Depressed much? Drugs. Trouble in school? Drugs. Hard time getting along with your parents? Drugs. Must be drugs. That's the only thing it could possibly be. Got a problem controlling your urge to rape little boys? Drugs. I shit you not, I saw it with my own glazed eyes. Some of you know what I mean. You were in group with me that day. For those of you lucky enough to have been sweating mid-term exams or suffering teen angst over boy/girl troubles or pimples & such, here's what happened on the way to the exit one day.

There was a young man in $tr8 Inc. He landed there because his dad had enough clout to pull some strings and get his darlin' lad's prison sentence deferred if he could finish the program. I don't remember what he was convicted of having done, just that it was a violent act and his sentence was something like 10 - 20.

To be perfectly fair, I'm pretty sure that the dad believed that drugs were at the root of his boy's problems. I don't think this man was evil enough to have been complicit to the fraud. I could be wrong, maybe that's just what I have to believe to live among humans. But that is my belief and I'm not interested in exploring other explanations right now. Mkhay?

Well this young man had progressed through the phases to the point where he had newcomers locked up in his home and was going to work every day. His home was known as the most "secure", inescapable, hard-core host homes. They had a couple of vicious dobies in the yard outside the bedroom window. No escape possible. And he was a BIG guy! Would have been attractive as hell if it hadn't been for the sadistic gleam in his eye. Even in a big room with a hundred or so other people, his presence was downright chilling. I wish I could say I can't imagine being locked up alone with this monster night after night, but one day I was forced to focus on just that scenario.

One of his newcomers was a very timid, small young man, maybe 14 years old and a late bloomer. Well one day while the oldcomer was at work, it came to light that he had been violently raping this little boy. This came to light when the young boy was stood up and confronted about why blood was seeping from his rectum onto his chair.

If sane people had been running the show, they would have taken him to the hospital for an exam and made a complaint to the police and sent the oldcomer back to prison where he belonged. If frogs had wings they wouldn't bump their asses when they hopped. When I say I was raised by wolves in the twilight zone, I'm really only half kidding!

Instead, the boy was taken to the bathroom and given a kotex to put in his drawers. When the oldcomer came in from work, he was confronted and started over, day one, in his "drug rehabilitation program." About 3 months later, staff and group having been convinced that he was sincerely working his program, he was again advanced to a higher phase and they started sending him home with more little boys. I shit you not. I couldn't make this up. Others witnessed it too and have posted publicly. The victim in this case told the story himself. I'm not going to name him cause I don't know if he feels like reliving this nightmare right now. Anyone who knows who I'm talking about, please respect that and don't bring it to his attention! Thank you.

All the while, during the entire years long ordeal and for many years afterward, we all were just stuck with keeping things like this to ourselves. After all, who's going to believe a teenaged runaway from a "drug rehab"? The cops? Yeah right! Our parents who paid to keep us there? Good luck with that! How about clergy? Teachers? CYS? Somebody? Keep on telling yourself that somebody's minding the shop and keeping the world safe from things like this if that's what helps you sleep at night.

Now all of the above happened over 30 years ago. I'm not whining. I'm pretty much over it, functioning well, enjoying good relationships and a reasonably comfortable, enjoyable life. So is the victim described in the paragraphs above, as far as I can tell. Matter of fact, when I have a bad day sometimes I think of him and find strength to take a brighter view of my own situation.

Some days, though, I find cause to reflect on these darker days. Today is one of those days for two reasons. And it may be hard for most people to see the relation between these two seemingly unrelated stories. Maybe some people will understand and explain it a little better than I can right now. But I'm going to try and explain anyway.

William Evans was paroled the other day. Please spare me the very real trauma of relating the details of why that is so disturbing to me. Please stop and read this article:

Nicole Parisien was murdered in B.C. in 2007 by former Calgary man Andrew Evans, who was recently granted day parole. Photo courtesy Helena Lines/Calgary Sun/QMI Agency

Full Story Here, please read!

Done? Ok, to proceed. Alberta Adolescent Recovery Center is a 3rd generation spin-off of The Seed, where my nightmare began. Seed->Straight, Inc.->Kids of Bergen County->AARC

Despite the heinous nature of the crime, this man was granted parole the other day, in part because Dean Vauss, the megalomaniac director of the AARC program where Evans was a counselor, spoke for him at the parole hearing. Evidently, Dean still believes that drugs are the root of Evan's problems and that he has the only solution to that problem! Ok, well he's obviously a lunatic; this having been obviated by countless witnesses to similar acts of megalomania, various lawsuits, etc.

But what the hell is wrong with the parole board??? Aren't they supposed to be the sane, responsible people who bar against this sort of nightmare scenario? I suppose it depends on who's doing the supposing. If you factor in those two broadly held, highly dangerous delusions that I enumerated earlier in this article, then it all makes horrifying sense, doesn't it. Do you have some sympathy for the good hearted people of Germany the day any of them came to the realization that they had thrown their heart-felt support to the monster that was the Nazi movement? I do. Often. More often than I'd like.

So I'm walking up the hill to a home health client's home today with a snout full of all of this. And, as I say, it's a blessedly beautiful day; what we call "tourist weather" in Florida, where we only get a couple of days a year like this. And I'm re-gearing my mind and mood to the people I'm about to go and serve; their concerns and immediate needs, their situation, their world-view and mind-set (I envy them that! Oh, they suffered more privation and hardship than most of us, but their world and future were kind and honest and optimistic!) So I'm having this rather private moment with myself, anonymously walking up a public street when I startled a young kid coming out of the alleyway on his rat bike. It's not like we almost crashed into each other or anything. There was plenty of lead time to notice one another.

I think he was startled because I was just radiating all kinds of rage and fear and upset. But what cut me right to the quick? The rapid progression of his expression. First, undefined anxiety. Next, compassion... very briefly, I saw a look of pure honest compassion when he realized I was closer to tears than aggression of any flavor. Then there was a different fear and a turning away. Maybe he rode off cause it was an uncomfortable moment and certainly none of his concern. But the thought troubled my mind that his initial startle response had something to do with fear of confrontation with white people, especially an older white woman in distress. I don't know.

Next thing I know, Dayton, Oh authorities reminded me of why hearing about what people like Dean Vause and his small band of sadistic lunatic followers are up to is so deeply disturbing to me. Because I know what it's like to be locked into life under the rule of such people and we are... really!

I just watched the video of John Crawford being shot to death by police in a Dayton area Wal-Mart. 

Here's the Huffington Post article with video on John Crawford

Sure looks to me like they didn't give him any warning and he wasn't even pretending to menace or threaten anybody. Not even checking out the scope. First moment he even shows awareness of police presence, he's on the floor screaming in fear and pain, forgot all about that BB gun he had been thinking about buying. That went skidding across the floor. He had more important things to deal with just all of a sudden.

Probably couldn't afford it anyway cause the baby needed diapers. When you're considering your own immediate mortality in a real way, the strangest things occur to your mind. Trust me on this.

Here's the kick in the head. This video was released at the same time as the special prosecutor announced that the cops involved will not be indicted by the grand jury. Their reasoning goes that these cops did just exactly what they were trained to do. So sorry about your orphaned baby, sorry you had to bury your son, etc. Just SOP. 

This is how I read that:

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Memo:   9/25/20014

From: Staff

To: All 5th phasers, 4th phasers on down, selected PT's will get a personal message through COC.

Re: Recent and historic disposition of LEO involved homicides and other alleged civil rights violations

We have trained our staff to murder more or less random people for no more cause than unsubstantiated anonymous gossip. If they don't like you for whatever reason, and we do all of the reasoning for them, and they think they can get away with it, they'll shoot your ass without provocation or warning. We'll give them a paid vacation, a fund/sympathy raiser, commendations, promotions and a sweet retirement with legacy perfs. You won't even be around to SEE what we do to your granddaughter! LOL! 

Nothing to see here. Go back to your X-Box and your football game and your celebrity gossip now. Have a nice day & drive safe now, ya hear! They're here to protect your safety. So don't do anything that might frighten us. 

Move<fnord>along and don't resist.

Your protectors

------------------------------------------------

Now here is the optimism I promised earlier; an entertainingly brave & brilliant presentation about the broadly held delusion that is too often used to minimize and justify the brutalization and murder of innocent people. That fondly held delusion is this:

• Black people are the cause of drugs and all other evils of society.

Now, when I say this is a brave move, I don't mean just brave in the sense that these kids risked marginalization and scorn from people who may disagree with them. I was on the edge of my seat watching this video! Even I knew going in that the black kid was risking his very life just to deliver an important message! And I wasn't at all sure till the end that I wasn't going to witness yet another murder caused by hysterical paranoia fed on a steady diet of pervasive hate. Don't think for a minute that that kid didn't know it full well going in either. In my book, this kid is a damned hero!

Even if you're not black or latino. Even if you're currently a racist who holds to the delusional view that them others are causing all the problems and need to be locked up, driven out of our neighborhoods or killed outright, this matters to you. Cause if you're holding on to this comforting delusion, you're probably also holding onto another, even more dangerous delusion--that it will never happen to you or anyone you love `cause you're not [fill in the blank]. It shall. Trust me. If we don't turn this boat around, it'll happen to you one day, and likely sooner than you think!

Don't Be Muck!

If you want to see a good example of "Live for nothing or die for something", this dude is worth listening to. 

Jon-J - Criminals Of Permission



Like most people, he's civilized and peaceful, writing, singing and raising a hew and cry even though his soul is hurting and his heart is rageful and I'm sure he's got the impulse to violence that we all have. And he clearly knows he's opening himself up to retribution for speaking out. And he's doing it anyway. Brave man! 

Not everybody is wrapped this tight, folks! Meet The Blaze http://www.examiner.com/article/new-black-panther-leader-kill-white-babies-by-bombing-nurseries 

Some people break bad. And we had all better take notice of what's upsetting them and find our way to justice before things get much, much uglier!

Do you know who's living right next door to you????

No? Well then get up off your dead ass and go talk to them. They're your neighbors, after all! You could be living next door to a long lost friend or relative, maybe even the next messiah! You think some commercial snitch culture fear mongering mostly bogus criminal background checking website is going to tell you anything worthwhile? Hells no! If you're thinking about spending $29.99 on a dubious background check, just pick up the phone and put it right back down again (credit to Sara Silverman) and walk right out the door and go meet your damned neighbors!

So, I guess you're wondering...

So I guess you're wondering why I called this meeting.

Well, I got the itch, I tell ya! And I think the state of online publishing has reached a point where I can maintain an effective, if smaller, presence without having to own a personal computer. If I do it right, and if I'm correct in my belief that folks generally need what I plan to offer, then I can monetize (ewe! right? You must have plenty then cause I surely don't!) without compromising the quality of the product.

I plan to blog on topics ranging from official corruption to shining examples of integrity in the midst of corrupt institutions. Further, I will be focusing on what I am familiar with and what I can see. I have a long history of interest in and writing primarily about drug policy reform and institutional child abuse.

Whistle-blowing on these topics has often brought me into conflict with... well, a lot of people, but particularly law enforcement. I have been harassed at my home and suffered being on the no-service list myself and, worse, seeing my then 14 - 19yo daughter battered and abuse by an adult dope dealer while local law enforcement pointed and laughed in my face. I don't back down and neither did she. She's 30 now, going strong and very much in favor of my doing just as I do, being just as I am.

All this because it is assumed by some that I hate cops. I don't hate cops. I hate corruption and view it our civic duty, as citizens in a free republic, to address corruption by peaceful and legal means and to keep our public institutions flying straight... even when it hurts to do so.

To that end, I plan to model this new entity a lot like the old Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora . All interested parties are eagerly welcome to comment. This, however, will be a moderated forum to some degree. I want serious opinion, not troll wars and death threats. I'll be tweaking that as I go, just so you know. I do NOT want to squash or censor conflicting views on any topic. However, I will not be held liable for the expressed opinions or actions of anyone but my own damned self, thanks very much.

I need some help, too. If anyone is interested in being an author here, please get in touch. I also need a twitter head cause I don't think I'll have time anytime soon to learn all about that.

So here's my first theme.

The only good cop is at least a supporting member of LEAP

Discuss....